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Pages: so, this guy i have been dating for 4 months [1]
Author Topic: So, this guy i have been dating for 4 months

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2011-03-08 15-31-10

so, this guy i have been dating for 4 months was super affectionate from the start, sending me sweet texts and emails when we weren't together, expressing how he felt about me when we were. then, suddenly within the last week, he has dialed it back. he is still super affectionate in person, just not so much anymore via email and text - we don't get to see each other often these days, as we are both super busy, so i really liked the occasional lovey "notes". i queried "does it make you uncomfortable? i have noticed that your tone has changed of late. what's up?" he didn't have a great answer, saying some things like "i still feel all those things, but i am not usually that mushy, i guess" so, i am confused and having some really unhelpful thoughts about this. is he losing interest, even though he says he is not? are we just settling into a comfortable "relationship" pattern? does he not need to say these things anymore now that he has me? am i totally overanalyzing this? help me rofo!
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2011-04-15 17-46-20

Lots of guys do that. Come one like a mack truck for the first few months then cool off. I've learned not to trust how much anyone says they like me until they've known me for a while. (And no, trollios, the cooling off didn't coincide with when we had sex).
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  • hyle

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    Posts: 26

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    2011-07-03 10-33-24

    Uh oh, the x month mark. It's where he either has to decide if he's going to be IN a relationship or back out. The honeymoon is over. Pull way back and see if he approaches you.
    if you can�t convince them, confuse them., online dating flirting - Gleeson, Tullah

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    2011-08-08 7-55-38-

    that feels dishonest, like playing a game i don't want to do that. i am a very affectionate and generous person and i don't want to work against that. but i understand: we are still vetting each other out. i just have to be patient, i guess i should say that since i brought it up, he has been bringing a little of it back.
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    2011-09-04 0-53-24-

    Even animals do mating dances. This is part of the dance.
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    2011-10-20 19-17-46

    Not dishonest. Consider it giving him time to think and decide without pressure.
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  • hales

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    2011-12-20 9-42-38-

    i see. was i not doing that already? it has been a long time since i have dated someone new. this all feels like a carefully orchestrated dance. it's odd
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  • staudacher

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    2012-02-12 16-02-52

    I think what happens in the first three or four months is someone plunges in to romance fueled by adrenaline and sexual euphoria. Eventually they realize that their laundry isn't done, their friends feel neglected, and they haven't slept enough in weeks. So they then go into the rest and assessment phase. "how does this woman fit into my life" "do I love her enough to not have sex (ever again) with anyone else" It sounds like he hasn't pulled out of the relationship with you but perhaps has eased up so he can focus more on other things in his life. If you are going to be together for a long time he would have needed to do that eventually anyway.
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  • meinen

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    2012-04-28 9-48-39-

    right. and i need to evaluate too
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    2012-06-23 12-42-26

    He was trying to win you. Now he's settled in Most women want x/x conquest, x days a week. That's a sure fire way to burn him out on the relationship.
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  • carbonara

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    2012-09-20 9-01-09-

    Just take things slow, Broom.
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  • riordan

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    2012-11-16 0-55-48-

    enjoy it while it last
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