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Pages: What would you do? [1]
Author Topic: What would you do?
waltermire

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2011-02-08 1-07-56-

What would you do? Good evening, I recently asked a girl that I am attracted to out to lunch (she said yes), and I’ve regretted doing it ever since. For one, because I didn’t have the nerve to ask her to her face so I asked her in a written note. Secondly, because I’ve been hearing from other people, who know her more personally, tell me that she is in a relationship with someone already, third, because I’ve been questioning my intentions concerning the lunch, i.e. am I trying to be friends with her or something more?, and fourth, because I already laid my cards out on the table by expressing to her in the note how “gorgeous” I thought she was (I know, rookie mistake), so she already knows I’m attracted to her. **Shaking head** Some of my friends are encouraging me to go on and have lunch with her as a “friend” and use it as an opportunity to get to know her better. In contrast, I have other friends telling me that I’m “playing with fire” by having lunch with this girl, knowing that I’m highly attracted her, and knowing that she’s unavailable. I personally, don’t know if it’s possible to try to be “just friends” with someone you’re romantiy attracted to. Should I have lunch with her, or just forget about it and move on? I don't have a lot of experience with how to approach women or expressing interest, as you can probably glean from my post, so any advice or tips you can give will be greatly appreciated.
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thomas

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2011-02-10 4-20-09-

your quandary 1. Asking someone in a note is akin to emailing or texting, so this is a non-issue. 2. and 3. She "might" be in a relationship + you "might" like her = a no good situation. Trying to be "just friends" with someone you want to hook up with is a recipe for heartache. If you're a masochist, go for it. How are you going to get out of going to lunch? Make sure the excuse isn't too lame. gl
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trinkle

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2011-02-11 20-52-48

You're not a loaded gun. You can perfectly well have lunch with someone you think is hot and manage to behave yourself. You asked her to lunch. Go, have fun. Explain your mistake and embarrasment about her non-single status if the conversation flows that way so she knows you do have morals.
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    campana

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    2011-02-13 3-54-05-

    ^^^^^^^^Very good advise, I second that
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  • yahn

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    2011-02-19 6-14-39-

    never fear, just hang out no expectations. be happy to have lunch with a hot woman. what more could you ask for? with the woman, I'm interested in, Look right in the eyes and listen to her. be honest, tell a joke, tell her how much you like her shoes, she'll catch on. Me personally, I'm always nice, i dress good, smell good, and Listen....talk to her, a light touch on the hand will tell you alot, if you make the move. don't be discouraged, get to know her and in turn, you'll gained perspective on her and yourself. don't be scared, stop second guessing and just go for it. above all Just have fun! enjoy your lunch and check your teeth for spanich or pepper. NO onions on the first meet up..LOLOLOL... if this one doesn't work, at least you've tried, and you can take that lesson onto the next hot woman, that you have lunch, diner or even breakfest.!! peace out.
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    tenorio

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    2011-02-19 15-58-32

    Well, she's involved AND making dates with someone who's clearly flirting with her, so I would factor that in. I don't think that shows much character on her part, unless she and her gf have an open arrangement. But really, her being involved should put the brakes on your romantic hopes, sad to say. If you want a friendship with this woman within these boundaries, then yeah, maybe. But it sounds laden with peril from here. And she sounds... iffy. My two cents.
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    voelkel

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    2011-03-09 5-24-37-

    I'm late, but I agree. If she's involved and making dates, she either has an open relationship (and might always want to have an open relationship) OR she's cheating. If you date someone as their "cheat on the side" and win them over, 9 times out of 10, they'll do the same thing to you, only you'll be the partner left behind while she cheats on you with someone else. THAT SAID, unless you were very clear, she might not get that it's a date you're asking for:
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