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Pages: Follow-up to S&M questions [1]
Author Topic: Follow-up to S&M questions

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2011-02-08 3-39-08-

Follow-up to S&M questions I posted last night about some issues facing me and my sig other with regard to being "safe" while introducing BDSM stuff into our lives. You guys raised some great points (i.e. better use of safe words, doing pre-scene negotiations, coping with subdrop, understanding subspace, the idea of my partner transitioning from pure cyber-BDSM to real-life BDSM). Obviously, this is an on-going learning process but I'm happy to say we had a VERY long discussion last night about ALL of these things. While we had discussed these topics before, I think we finally understand the gravity of these issues after several scenes ended pretty badly. One thing that confuses/concerns me in all of this is that I've primarily taken on the weight of learning how to negotiate this stuff responsibly. Because he has so many years of doing this online, I think the very real physical and psychological issues don't necessarily occur to him, whereas I feel very protective of our personal well-beings. Again, to be fair, he absolutely respects and responds to my boundaries and cares very, very much for me --- BUT, it feels odd to act as the "educator" given my relative inexperience (I feel like I'm just spouting off book-knowledge w/out real-life experience to back it up) AND because I'm the sub, it feels weird to be a sub AND a beginner AND trying to help someone be a responsible dom when they've already been doing this (to some degree) for years. It feel a bit like the blind leading someone who can see slightly better, if that makes sense? So... I know there wasn't an actual question there - just where my head is in thinking these things over....
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2015-07-13 21-25-09

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Posts: 48

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2016-03-24 4-21-44-

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