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Pages: know of good gynecologist? [1]
Author Topic: Know of good gynecologist?
Barton

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2011-02-08 2-14-14-

know of good gynecologist? Hi, I have issues, okay? And I am afraid to go get my checkups- went only once and it was horrifying- would almost rather die than go again. But, since life is getting good and I would really prefder not to die early and unneccesarily, I have been trying to imagine a scenario in which I might be able to handle laying naked with my legs spread open on a table in a room with bright lights on with some complete stranger examining and probing my privates. This type of idea just doesn't work with me. It seems that we should at least have lunch first, you know? But I don't know if it would be better or worse to know the person. Sometimes I think it might be better with a man, then I think, no, it wouldn't be, because, you know, men. But what are my other options? A woman...no, that doesn't sound so great either. (The first assailant was a woman and it was icky)I have issues with women; long story- let's skip it. Anyway, having a woman examining me down there is just weird. I know, youre going to say-"its not a sexual thing, he/she is a doctor and you need to do this for your health" Well, the first arguments don't work for me but the third is starting to take hold. Anyway, in my quest for an answr, a solution, a way, I considered the services of a lesbian gynecologist. She would have to be gentle, understanding and supportive and not manly to be of any benefit and not make for another horrifying experience. So, all that explanation to ask: Do you know of any local, sensitive, gentle, caring, good lesbian gynecologists? Oh yeah, and I don't have insurance and am a full-time student living off of loans- so I'm real short on funds. A sliding scale type deal would be a big plus. SLO or SB. Any suggestions? Thanks
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raimer

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2011-02-10 6-43-28-

I suggest you go to a therapist first. I'm not being snarky - I can understand the gender preference, but why would the sexual orientation of your doctor be any of your business? how would you even deduce such a thing?
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molder

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2011-02-11 23-55-47

a lot of lesbians don't get gyn exams often because of their sexual preference. some feel more comfortable with a lesbian dr that they know it won't be an issue with. some dr's specifiy advertise in lesbian publications or are known among the community to be gay. this is not such an unusual thing to ask at all.
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florry

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2011-02-13 4-27-18-

i dont really think that dykes prefer someone who is also a dyke and thats why they dont go to the gyne. at least from the articles that i have read (thanks mom!), the gripe seems to be that the MD's are clueless and ask all the wrong questions (sexual history, are you pregnant etc) the running theme seems to be that if you , as the clinician, treat your patients sexuality with respect, then they keep coming back for their paps every year. i guess what i am saying is that its less about what orientation the MD is and more about how knowledgable and respectful they are.
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teachout

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2011-02-24 1-29-05-

i am going with gertie on this one while staying healthy has compelled you to try to address this issue for yourself, i cannot see this going well for you until you confront and understand the underlying problem. while nobody really enjoys going to the gynecologist, most of us do it anyway, and without the amount of apprehension, fear, and nervousness you have. dont get me wrong, there are lots of women who have fears, apprehensions etc, but just perhaps not to the degree that you do. you have some very serious and very real fears about this and talking to a professional (ie a therapist) would possibly be the most helpful thing to do.
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blodgett

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2011-03-25 2-30-44-

It's a complicated issue... I have been ridiculed by the female sepcies in the past and I have deep, deep scars. I don't even want to say what made me think of the possibility that this might be an option...I honestly don't know what to do. Maybe it would be just as awfull as going to a man, but I don't know. The whole thing is just so weird to me. I don't even like going to the doctor-any doctor for a physical exam. I don't like the getting naked (or even partially so)in a cold stark room and with an unattached person part- it is really strange and extremely unconfortable for me. It is really weird. It's not that my parent was hush hush about sexual things or nudity wasn't allowed- She walked around the house naked all the time and we used to go to the nude beaches and stuff. She explained to me how ren are made before my pre-teens (which is why I never have had sex-even thought I was intereseted at a young age). This is not where that came from; I have been deeply wounded by my own in other ways.
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toalson

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2011-04-26 19-34-17

Just pretend she's gay... and gertie's advice on seeking help is necessary for most people.
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  • Pollyanna

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    2011-07-07 14-06-21

    does everyone have an issue with the gyno? where does this stem from? were your families very private about nudity or something? I've never felt awkward at the gyno, and although my gyno came highly recommended, I can't imagine that there are that many bad gynos that people are being scarred from the beginning. I'm genuinely curious.
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  • Pollyanna

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    2011-07-11 22-04-37

    just speaking for me i'm not the poster you replied to but i had a horrible humiliating and extremely physiy painful first gyno exam as a teenager and never went back because of it.
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    devaney

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    2011-08-01 21-05-49

    i don't really have an issue but i have had some capital shit SHITTY experiences, especially in my teens. and i understand the phobic aspects of it - think of how many people are afraid of the dentist.
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    malin

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    2011-09-01 5-11-54-

    I had a horrible first exam I left feeling raped. The doctor was a man and what he was doing hurt a lot and I told him and asked him to stop and he wouldn't. I was laying there crying, telling him how much it hurt, and begging him to stop and he didn't. I was x.
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    tropp

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    2011-10-21 4-27-07-

    why didn't you get up and leave? at x, and for your first time, your mom or someone else you trusted should have been in there with you.
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  • brockman

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    2011-11-13 20-12-19

    way to blame the victim geez, gertie. OP says she left feeling raped, you say she should've got up and left, and it's her own fault anyway for not bringing her mom.
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  • lowrie

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    2012-01-07 0-27-24-

    I was merely asking. there was nothing 'blaming' in my question. my second sentence was in reference that, to my knowledge, most gynos will not perform a first exam without someone else in the room - preferably someone that the patient brings. she omitted the detail of the nurse, which addressed my second concern.
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    holgate

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    2012-02-23 5-33-00-

    Yeah, but it kind of does seem like blaming because it implies that she had control of a situation that she didn't exert, and therefore isn't in a position to complain about what followed. At x, especially if this is a first exam, it would have been unlikely that she would have left no mr what was happening. First of all, she wouldn't have known what to expect, and secondly, we're conditioned to "trust" those in positions of perceived power. Anyone remember the Milgram experiments where people supposedly zapped the living shit out of other people just because the "doctors" told them to? Easy to say you'd have walked out, and with our current levels of experience perhaps we would....but at x, not likely. And yeah, there should have been someone inthere with her, but who knows how many years ago this was. Things aren't the same now as they were back in the day. So speaketh the old fart...
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  • percifield

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    2012-05-09 12-32-02

    was there anyway for me to continue the conversation without a question that would be perceived as blaming? how would I have worded that more appropriately?
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    muhl

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    2012-08-01 15-31-23

    I can see how that's less blaming. thanks!
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  • cotney

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    2012-10-25 19-47-52

    You're awesome, Gert! Thanks for asking how you could have worded that better, instead of getting all defensive. That's way cool!
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    kerkhoff

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    2012-12-17 12-08-29

    i wasn't exactly in a position to get up i was immobilized from the pain and the instruments were inside me. there was a nurse in the room and i begged her to make him stop too but all she did was let me squeeze me hand. she wouldn't do or say anything. noi knew was in the room with me.
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  • full

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    2013-01-27 9-29-01-

    if you are not a troll, i am deeply sorry. stories like that make my skin crawl. it is painful how easily women are stripped of any power sometimes and how many women suffer through crimes like that every day. i hope you are getting the support that you need and being good to yourself.
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    overman

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    2013-03-12 21-22-39

    I have had a painfull exam. I have a friend that is a lesbian nurse that recommended this doctor. The doctor is male but he is sensitive but it is a matter of knowing me. I talk to my nurse friend and she takes info to the doctor. I am too shy to open up to every
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    kara

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    2013-04-17 9-14-52-

    Did you know that you were gay before the exam or afterwards? Did the exam turn you against men? Just curious.
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  • Theresita

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    2013-06-04 6-20-49-

    did you know you were an asshole before you wrote that post, or did writing it make you an asshole? Just curious...
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    2013-06-08 8-47-23-

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    2013-10-30 7-56-30-

    i meant dykeotomy's response but i was agreeing with you :-)
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