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Pages: Semi-Serious Questionaire [1]
Author Topic: Semi-Serious Questionaire
pikul

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2011-02-08 21-06-58

Semi-Serious Questionaire At what point when you begin seeing someone is it time to share certain information about yourself. a) right away or first few dates, b) after you've made a commitment, c) not unless asked d) never, lie if you must 1. age 2. bisexual c. are married d. have ren e. you're broke f. filed bankruptcy g. restraining order filed against you h. in recovery (12 stepper) i. an addict of any kind not in recovery. j. have a serious medical problem k. have incurable stds (herpes, HPV) l. have a mental health problem m. seeing a therapist n. on medication o. have been committed to facility p. abuse issues q. abused as an adult r. living under an alias s. have been in jail t. are going to jail u. not out v. will never come out w. vegetarian or meat lover x. smoker y. never date a smoker z. are a republican A couple I am actually really concerned about. I thought it would be fun to get through the alphabet.
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cochran

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2011-02-11 17-23-58

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  • eggebrecht

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    2011-02-13 2-11-29-

    why so snarky today? You are usually of the nice ones.
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  • birrell

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    2011-02-22 14-21-22

    mercury retrograde!!!
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    franklin

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    2011-03-20 5-20-45-

    when will it be over, please?
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  • ruddell

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    2011-03-26 5-41-56-

    most of those things should be disclosed right away. some of those things are pretty extreme, like the restraining order, jail, addiction, etc. if i was dating someone and they kept those things from me, i would be fucking pissed off when i found out about them later. i guess for me, the more personal things, like hood abuse etc can wait until you really trust someone and feel like sharing honestly.
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  • Janetta

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    2011-05-30 20-05-23

    what if the drugs, jail etc... were over ten years ago?
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    derocco

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    2011-07-18 20-03-40

    still part of your history which eventually you will have to tell your partner if you are interested in a long term relationship. addiction is forever. you can be in recovery but you will always be an addict (some folks may disagree with me on this one, and thats totally ok, but having been around a few addicts in my life, this is the conclusion that i have arrived at) so, to consciously withhold that kind of information from a partner is shady. see the thing about demons, is they always find a way to sneak out of thier locked little cages and usually your partner finds out anyway. everytime someone has withheld info from me, i found out eventually anyway, and i ended up feeling hurt and like i had been lied to. this has happened to me more times than i feel proud to admit, and it has only served to reinforce my belief in the tattered old cliche 'honesty is the best policy'
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  • full

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    2011-08-28 8-35-44-

    Share everything and share it right away I always share the important things about me right away (and a lot of the unimportant things too, if I'm nervous and chatty HA) and I would want a new someone to share those things too. There's nothing worse than when you feel like you are starting to know someone and then they spring something big on you that makes you realize you don't know them at all. I think that messes with your trust in them. x. age x x. bisexual no c. are married no d. have ren no e. you're broke no f. filed bankruptcy no g. restraining order filed against you no h. in recovery (x stepper) no i. an addict of any kind not in recovery no j. have a serious medical problem no k. have incurable stds (herpes, HPV) no l. have a mental health problem no m. seeing a therapist no n. on medication no o. have been committed to facility no p. abuse issues no q. abused as an adult no r. living under an alias no s. have been in jail no t. are going to jail no u. not out no v. will never come out no w. vegetarian or meat lover - rarely eat meat, but I do sometimes x. smoker no y. never date a smoker - I wouldn't date a smoker because I used to smoke and I worked very hard to never smell like smoke again z. are a republican hell no
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    crombie

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    2011-09-05 21-20-04

    you say share everything because you answered no to everything. Some of us have a few not so easy to share stuff and some women tend to have requirements to date. Like being financial stable for There's a pre-judgement when you reveal that you're not earning so much or that your job is somewhere below what is expected from your age. There could be circumstances that lead to it and not just the label slacker belongs there. I for feel the need to recoil when someone reveals too much too soon. If someone who answered yes to alot of that stuff told me so on the first or second date. I could be turned off. I just wanted to get some other reactions on when and what to share. And what sounds like lying if you wait to share and what is just waiting for the right time. Some were no brainers to reveal just to make up the alpha.
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  • griesemer

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    2011-09-11 11-47-29

    I still say share If someone dumps you because you don't make a lot of money then they weren't worth being with in the first place. I've been extremely poor before, and people helped me out so I could eat and have a roof over my head. I'd have no problem being that person for someone else. If someone was in prison for robbery, for example, I would want to know that. I'd want to hear the entire story, and maybe the circumstances wouldn't make me run away. If it was a plain and simple robbery -- or a violent -- then I would run away. I can't deal with violence. But that's just me. I'm sure there are plenty of women who wouldn't have an issue with it.
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  • Teruko

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    2011-11-08 14-04-58

    i'm with zepher not so into compulsive disclosure. as for the money thing, i care less how much someone makes as how they handle their money and other money behaviors.
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  • tinkle

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    2011-12-05 16-29-56

    so its the verbal vomit thing? i get that. but i guess if someone is a trainwreck, i would like to know, and if i get to figure it out on the first date, then fanfuckingtastic. and you make an excellent point about money. i think that philosophy can carry through to other things. you may have a shitty hand, but its what you do with said shitty hand that matters.
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    emmanuel

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    2011-12-15 19-49-59

    I'd like to say it's because they revealed too much too soon. But then there's always that feeling of being sandbagged if someone waited until they hooked you to unload their shit. I could see it leading to resentment. But I do understand because I'm in that boat to of having certain things that might make me not dating potential if known. I would like the person to have time to get to know me and see that I have some good qualities, that I may have experienced some growth and maturity, that an initial judgement might not give way to. So I do support the idea to share and the idea to withhold. I'm currently withholding a litte bit. I'm just trying to gage what and when is acceptable.
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  • meehl

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    2011-12-31 10-35-34

    Therepy really isn't an issue to me at all, nor are some of the other things on that list. If I love someone, I am pretty sure I could find bankruptcy adorable.
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  • Tineke

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    2012-02-16 23-50-47

    I'm supposed to be working, so... A(right away or first few dates): a - e, g - i, r - z. B(after committment): f, j - o. C(not unless asked): p, q
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    bradner

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    2012-05-04 1-11-20-

    So you would mind your p's and q's? HAhaHAha!!!!!!!!!
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  • Arlene

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    2012-08-09 2-08-15-

    you'd wait to tell them about an incurable std commitment???
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    barboza

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    2012-10-01 16-57-08

    I'd love to hear more about this Because most incurables you should disclose but would you need to disclose HPV. Is thatreally necessary? Isn't it widespread and if not a wart not a problem.
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    Marloes

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    2012-11-09 5-18-54-

    i was a bit curious about having a mental health issue or being committed to a facility, i guess i would rather know that before i committed to some eeep! or do you not need to know this because you hire a PI to dig up all the dirt on your dates? come on, Gertie, spill it!
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  • babel

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    2012-12-30 7-09-28-

    if they have it under control then there's no reason to tell a stranger on the first few dates that you had some issues in that area. I personally don't think that's something that should be shared so freely - BUT I do see the discrepency with the whole committed thing... there should be a level between A & B, somewhere between the first few dates and couplehood. like, a few months after dating, but not necessarily "committed". this goes for that HPV/STD comment above - I wouldn't tell someone the first few dates, but probably before having sex with them, whenever that happened to be. but with only those x categories to choose, well...
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    tappan

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    2013-02-27 19-40-08

    If I had sex w/ someone and they told me later they had a HPV/STD after the fact I'd kick their ass to hell and back. I don't care what kind or how severe or not. That shit needs to be handled before there's any type of sex at all.
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    Maggie

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    2013-04-01 1-11-05-

    exactly... that's what I said. before sex.
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  • Marcille

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    2013-06-02 5-52-03-

    what if you have sex on the first date
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  • freer

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    2013-09-17 13-57-57

    I like Gerts method A(right away or first few dates): a - e, g - i, r - z. B(after committment or long term dating): f, j - q.
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    raisanen

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    2013-10-08 21-42-40

    same question to you about the std why are people saying they'd have sex without disclosing this???
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  • stolar

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    2013-10-17 15-37-34

    um, nosaid they would have sex i think they meant before they decided to really date some uh, i guess not all of us jump in the sack right away?
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    cecile

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    2013-11-12 20-25-03

    no, Im saying I dont plan on having sex on the first few dates.. note I changed my second section to commitment OR long term dating
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  • stannard

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    2013-11-25 18-33-16

    oh lord. you know, as much as we'd like to say, I wait a few months before having sex with someone, and when I do, I disclose all my former partners and show them my latest STD test results, but we're being realistic here. are you saying you tell everyone you've slept with what diseases you have? and they tell you theirs? and you're certain about the reliability of both answers?
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