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Pages: What if this isn't it? [1]
Author Topic: What if this isn't it?
bedner

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2011-02-08 18-27-50

What if this isn't it? I've been in a relationship for over 4 years and I've often felt like I'm just settling and that she loves me more than I love her. Now, we're both ready to start a family, but sometimes I wonder if she's the I want to spend the rest of my life with. What do I do? Am I expecting too much out of a relationship? Although she loves ME unconditional, I don't her and I don't think it's fair for her.
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Georgeta

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2011-02-11 11-34-35

duh it is not fair to her.
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  • torbert

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    Posts: 5

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    2011-02-12 23-47-05

    yeah, but... Is everyone able to have of those fairtale romances or are they only for the lucky ones and movie characters?
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  • Eleen

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    2011-02-21 2-26-59-

    no has a fairytale life or relationship but you clearly do not want to do what it takes to make a relationship work with her. If you did you would be talking to her about this. But you're afraid of how she will react right? She will be shocked and might not react well. At least she will be able to make an informed decision about her future. Be it with you or not.
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    linn

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    2011-02-23 0-15-42-

    I think gf deserves someone who loves her as much as she loves them. I've been in a relationship where I've loved more than I've been loved... it sucks. If you're not feeling it with her you can't fake it - but maybe you need to bounce around the dyke-dating world a bit to appreciate what you have now. Sometimes these things are a matter of perspective.
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    hullinger

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    2011-03-23 20-04-24

    I have talked to her about this....many times... but then things change (we think) and we move on, in sweet denial. Unfortunately, now I know that this can't go on because she indeed wants a and would make a wonderful mother. I do not want to bring a into this, however.
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    devere

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    2011-05-17 2-18-22-

    Be ready to commit to her x% if you are going to start a family
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  • Yelena

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    2011-07-14 6-18-03-

    Love I'm sorry to say that I suffer from a similar situation as yourself. My mother always told me to find someone that loved me more than I loved them as to make sure that I would never get hurt. But what about hurting the other person? What am I to do with my own selfish need to explore and find what I've been looking for? What is life if you can't live it the way you want? On the other hand, do you know that you'll ever find anyone who can treat you as well or knows you as well as this person? It's a confusing situation..but ultimately, if you know she isn't the one, then the least you can do is let her know she isn't the also so she doesn't waste more time or emotion on something that isn't going anywhere.
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  • kadosh

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    2011-08-24 23-28-44

    One of a persons goals in life should be To love others without condition. We don't always have to like other people, but we should still love another. When you put conditions on love, you are only reflecting your own weakness, and insecurity.
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    copeman

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    2011-10-11 18-12-28

    what is love A friend of mine's father is a pastor and in his x years of pastoring, as it were, he has only married x couples. His criteria is in the answering of the question, Why do you want to marry this person? If a person says "Because he/she makes me happy," he will not marry them. The x couples he has married all answered, "Because I want to make him/her happy." Love is a two-way street.
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    hullinger

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    2011-10-19 23-23-10

    I never implied otherwise Nor did my response refer to just romantic love.
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    Wai-Leung

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    2011-12-04 9-35-33-

    I could give you the long version here. but I think you know the short version: time to move on. Of course, I'm a stranger on the internet and don't know a thing about you. We all are. So I'd suggest taking this up with a counselor.
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    lawes

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    2011-12-17 5-14-44-

    I plan on it... ..I know an objective person will help me sort things out.
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  • stolar

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    2011-12-28 0-55-16-

    DO NOT START a family without unconditional love. PERIOD. YOU need to get out...now. You do not feel the same way as her and you are SO gonna fuck her reality and the ! Do NOT take another step forward without about x months with a good shrink! seriously....email me on the side if you don't believe what it will do to your life.
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    hyacinth

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    2012-03-06 4-08-55-

    I Feel For You I really really do. I have been in the same relationship, x% committed, through better and worse (mostly worse) for the last x years. We have a and it is incredibly difficult. If you you aren't sure she is it, don't go any further.
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  • Lulita

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    2012-05-14 20-09-41

    Don't have and dont' stay with someone that thinks you love her in a way that you clearly don't. Trust me, it's a path to heartbreak. And you may break her heart by leaving, but not as much as if you stay under these conditions. And PLEASE don't bring into this.
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